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        歪果仁都懵了:找对象还能这么干?
        来源:新华网,巴尔的摩太阳报,Insight视界,SMH    日期: 2019-02-15

        昨天情人节你是怎么过的?

         

        别说,谁心里还没点数啊?是不是?

         

         

        对于不少单身青年来说,情人节无非是365天中一个普通的虐狗日而已。

         

        只?#36824;?#29616;在更让人为难的状况在于:就算你自己不着急,?#25077;?#22920;估计已经心急了……

         

         

        前两天,一位心急的大妈就直接成了?#25945;?#28966;点……还被校警盯上了!

         

        美国《巴尔的摩太阳报》就报道了这样一条新闻:

         

        “一女性为儿子找对象遭?#25945;?#26862;大学校警警告”

         

         

        懵圈没?看看是咋回事吧。

         

        陶森大学校警要求在校学生和员工留意一名年纪在50多岁、戴着花色围巾的大妈。她正在给自己的儿子物色对象。

         

        Towson University police have asked students and staff to be on the lookout for a woman in her 50s wearing a multicolored scarf. She’s looking for a date for her son.

         

         

        此前有学生投诉称,这名女性?#29616;?#20986;现在学校的图书馆和艺术中心两幢建筑?#26657;?#21521;路过学生出示手机上的照片,并?#24050;?#38382;她们是否愿意跟自己儿子约会。

         

        Students complained to officers that she approached them last week in two campus buildings, the Cook Library and Center for the Arts, showing them a picture on her cell phone and asking if they were interested in dating her son.

         

        这一举动对学生们造成了很大的干扰,校警发布通告,征集该女性或该事件的相关信息,通告中给出了含有这位女性监控图像的链接。

         

        It caused enough of a disturbance that police alerted students via an “incident advisory” that included a link to surveillance footage of the woman. They asked anyone with information about the woman or the incidents to contact university police.

         

         

        ?#36824;?#26657;方也表示,寻找该女性并非为了开?#29399;?#32618;调查,而是希望阻止她的这一举动。

         

        University officials said the woman isn’t being sought for any criminal investigation, but simply to put the behavior to a stop.

         

        此外,陶森大学校警警长赫林在发给校?#21543;?#21306;的一封?#22987;?#20013;写道:“这则通告是为了让陶森大学社区了解这个可能引发担忧的校园事件。”

         

        “This incident advisory is being provided in order to make the TU Community aware of an incident on campus that may cause concern,” Charles Herring, chief of the university police department, wrote in an e-mail to the campus community. 

         

        目前来看,大妈依旧“逍遥法外”,但好消息是,校园里没再出现这一现象。

         

        辣么,同学们怎样看待这位大妈的行为呢?

         

        如果这位女性是?#25077;?#22920;,你会怎样?一位名叫Austin Ryan的同学表示:“苍天,那我恐怕要和她脱离母子关系了,开玩笑哈,?#36824;?#30495;的很尴尬。”

         

        When asked if it was his mom trying to get him a date, student Austin Ryan said “Oh, I would probably disown her. Not really but I would just be embarrassed.”

         

         

        “如果是来问我的话,?#19968;?#35273;得很奇怪,”大二学生Chandler Stachowski表示,“?#19968;?#25298;绝她,然后把这当做新鲜事儿告诉其他人。”

         

        “I guess it would just be weird to me to have her ask me something like that,” said sophomore Chandler Stachowski. “I would probably deny her and then maybe tell someone about it seeing as how it’s not something you hear every day.”

         

        还有同学表示已经完全懵圈儿:“不知道,真不知道,这辈子没见过这样的操作。”

         

        “I don’t know,” said Fola Black, a junior. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen that in my life.”

         

        尽管报道中没有详细说明大妈的国籍,?#36824;?#36825;一连串让人眼熟的操作,让网友不禁猜测:这大妈莫不是我们楼下/小区/老家的?

         

        事实上,中国父母对于子女婚姻大事的操心程度,可能早已超过歪果仁的理解。隔三岔五,便有中式相亲新闻?#24039;?#22806;媒,而其中最知名的上海人民公园相亲角,更是老早就有了维基百科的英文页面。

         

         

        前些年,曾在《指环王》系列电影中饰演甘道夫,并在《X战警》中饰演的万磁王的伊恩•麦克莱恩,趁着推广莎士比亚的空?#25285;?#36824;在上海人民公园著名的“相亲角”体验了一把相亲文化。 

         

         

        老爷子举牌为自己打广告“伊恩,77岁,1米8,剑桥大学毕?#25285;?#22312;伦敦有房,仍很活?#23613;?rdquo;

         

        The actor held a piece of paper up to the camera, which read: "Ian. 5'11'', 77 years, Cambridge University, house in London, still active".

         

        很多粉丝们直呼“爷爷太会玩儿了”。

         

        澳大利亚ABC新闻网则表示:“中国年轻人转向约会软件,而父母依?#35805;?#20182;们‘挂’在当地的相亲角”

         

         

        相亲角这样的操作,怕是十分独特了。新华网曾专门报道过这一现象:

         

        中国大城市的公园,成为心?#22791;?#27597;的最佳选择,他们在这里为工作太忙无暇恋爱的儿女寻找另一半。

         

        Parks in Chinese metropolises are perfect venues for pushy parents to hunt for a suitable spouse for their children who are too busy and slow in finding love.

         

        ?#36824;?#22312;中国年轻人“?#25214;?#22686;长的需求”?#26657;?#23601;有一项需求是避免被父母安排婚姻大事。毕竟,人生幸福不是通过在一张A4纸的程式化介绍就能实现的。

         

        But the Chinese young people now have "ever growing needs" and one of those needs is the need to avoid this kind of arranged marriage and choose their own partner. Happiness cannot be found through formulaic descriptions on A4 paper, occasionally laminated.

         

         

        公园相亲角的A4纸上都写了啥?家长们为儿女们准备的“简历”通常包括教育程度、出生日期、薪水、职业和住房情况等一切可以“帮助”他们(吸引另一半)的信息。

         

        At matchmaking corners in parks, parents usually display a resume of their child, listing education, birth date, salary, job, housing and any details that might "help" their child.

         

        拥有大城市户口或房产、海外教育背景或者有车都成为卖点,而拥有这样“优势”的征婚人父母往往也更挑剔。

         

        Permanent residence or a house in a major city, overseas education or a car are seen as selling points and parents of such well-endowed candidates are much pickier.

         

         

        这样看来,前文中提到的那位大妈,估计是把陶森大学当作相亲角了,不想却吓坏了一众同学。

         

        那么,外国人就不相亲吗?那倒也不是,《悉尼晨锋报》的专栏作家Kerri Sackville还总结过,如果想安排别人(自己)相亲,或者想撮合谁,可要仔细琢磨以下几个问题:

         

        1. 认真思考双方的要求和标准。

        Have a think about the requirements and criteria of each of your single friends.

         

        2. 不要在未经?#24066;?#30340;情况下把他(她)的联系方式告诉别人。

        Never, ever give out a friend’s number to a third party without their express permission.

         

        3. 撮?#21523;?#21451;的时候,要给出认为他们确实?#40092;?#30340;详细理由。

        When setting friends up, give them specific reasons why you think they’d be compatible.

         

        4.别过度推销。

        Don’t oversell. 

         

        5. 提前给照片,颜值不是一?#26657;?#21364;是需考虑的要素。

        Offer photos of potential matches upfront. Looks aren’t everything, but they are a factor.

         

        6. 可以邀请他们一起吃个饭啥的,营造一个轻松环境。

        Offer to throw dinner parties or get-togethers so that your single friends can meet in non-threatening circumstances. 

         

        7. 如果他(她)不愿意,那就算了~

        If your friend declines the setup, don’t try to convince her/him.

         

        一旦“配对”成功,下一步呢?

         

         

        约会前尽量让自己看上去健?#25285;?#26080;论?#20449;?#37117;一样,发型整洁,皮肤干净,双眼有神,?#32422;?#20581;康的体型。

         

        Do your best to look healthy for your date. Both men and women are attracted to physical indications of health, such as shiny hair, clear skin, bright eyes, and a fit body.

         

        第一印象很重要。 

         

        It’s vital to make a strong first impression.  

         

        聊天的时候找找共同话题,?#36824;?#30007;性朋友们要注意,避免出现精心演练过的套?#21834;?#31505;话?#32422;?#31354;洞的赞美,这些都有?#22909;?#25928;果。

         

        When talking, try to discover things you have in common. If you’re a man, avoid rehearsed lines or jokes, empty compliments, as they’ll have a bad impact on your date.

         

        好了,大体上就是如此,诸位可都看懂了吗?具体情况还是要具体分析滴……

         

        神马?#35838;?#20160;么要特意在情人节之后一天再告诉大家这么多约会干货?

         

        呃,说的好像提前告诉会有用武之地一样……

         

         

        综合来源:新华网,巴尔的摩太阳报,Insight视界,SMH


         





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